No one: Whatcha doing this fine Friday evening, kiddo?
Me: You know, just finishing off this cold, stale coffee before I start in on the wine, watching "So I Married An Axe Murderer," and reporting dozens of semi-literate high schoolers who think rape and murder is hilarious to Facebook in the pathetic, naive hope that they'll be banned. Oh, and eating my feelings.
OMGMETOO!
No one: Sweet. Tell no one again why you're single?
Me: Probably because I have conversations with myself on the internet.
OMGMETOO!
No one: Yeah, that too.
Just add "having a mass-produced meal" in there, and we're good to go.
Dec 11th